These words were made to inspire, to help me grow, to progress, to simply vent, & to remember that life is a constant struggle but also a beautiful blessing. This is everything that either makes me or breaks me; all of which comes down to my unspoken words. Instagram - jcxlooove
I know that you do all you do just for us to live a better life than you did, but I honestly don’t believe that you’re always right. Honestly? No, you’re not always right. Period. You may want what’s best for us, but wanting what’s best for us and always insisting you’re right about what’s best for us are two completely different things.
You want us to open up to you more? Actually take the time to LISTEN. And by “listen”, we don’t mean just listen to the parts where you like what we’re saying. We actually would open up to you guys more if you weren’t so judgmental about everything. You really don’t need to get so butt hurt and you most certainly don’t have to overreact about every little thing we say. Just listen to us. Because whatever it is we’re going through, it could literally feel like the end of the world for us. And as your kids, we deserve your immediate attention every now and then. We don’t ask for much when we try to open up to you. Just be willing to accept that we may have made a big mistake and that we’re scared shitless of what you’re gonna say or do. & be willing to hear us out, no matter what happens. The good, the bad, and the ugly… Just be there for us. Maybe then we would be more comfortable opening up to you guys.
You want us to stop dating at the exact moment you tell us to? Well, have you taken the time to get to know our significant other? Have we ever had a serious conversation about how they make us feel and what they do for us? Have you ever taken into consideration that maybe, just MAYBE, we may have found “the one” that we can finally feel complete with? Have you ever thought that maybe we’ve already fallen in love? Okay, let’s get one thing straight… There’s a HUGE difference between justifying who’s good enough for us to be dating and just flat out saying, “he/she is not the one for you”. You spend your whole time raising us, teaching us right from wrong, and one of those life lessons happen to be to never judge someone before you get to know them because you never know what they’ve been through and every person has their own story. Yet, you sit there and point your fingers at our significant other, and refuse to put your pride aside. Yeah, you want what’s best for us, but honestly? If you think judging our significant other and telling us that they’re not the person you want for us is “the best” for us, then you’re wrong. — Let us make our own mistakes. Let us fall down and face reality. Hold out your hand, but let us decide when to reach for it. Don’t push us out the door by suffocating us in the safety zone. Let US decide if they’re right for us or not.
What you really SHOULD be teaching us is that life is full of shit storms. People are going to mislead us and betray us when we least expect them to. The people we were once really close to may or may not end up in our future, and all we can do is learn to accept that and move on. We’re going to get hurt, regardless of how careful we are. In order to completely develop a sense of how the world really is, we need to step out of our comfort level and just go for it. We need to trust some of the wrong people at some point only for us to realize who’s really worth trusting in the end. That dead ends don’t only appear on the roads, but in life as well. Never lose faith in ourselves and to always believe, even when everything we want in life seems impossible to reach at the time. Let us know that no matter what happens, you will be there to support us. And that even if everything seems to be falling apart now, we WILL get through it.
I honestly think you guys try too hard to protect us from the world when in reality… You should be pushing us to face it, and letting us realize it on our own. Regardless though, don’t get us wrong, we are extremely grateful for all that you do for us. Even if we’re stubborn and hard headed at times, that doesn’t mean we don’t love you or appreciate your existence in our lives. Truth is, we need you. & we know that you know that more than anyone else. But please, just take the time to hear us out and at least try to understand us. Learn to compromise with us instead of always trying to get your way out of things.
Never take the time you have with someone for granted. Especially if they love you with all your heart and you love them with all of yours, but you just can’t put aside your pride after a long or terrible fight. It’s such a waste of time.
Today is mine & my wonderful boyfriend’s 2nd monthsary together. I can’t stress enough how much this man has made me happy. He’s everything to me, and I love him with every part of me. It’s been a rough two months, but we’ve made it this far, and to me, turning back isn’t an option anymore.
I’m praying & hoping that he’s okay. Lately, he’s been feeling weaker & he feels as if he has cancer. His whole family is worried sick about him and they don’t know what else to do anymore. I’m praying that things will be okay. I wish I could just hold him in my arms and let him know that I’m just right there by his side, but I’m way too far away… And that kills me. ):
Ugh. I refuse to spend our 2nd monthsary this way. I need to wipe my tears.
Completely irrelevant, but I’m really feelin’ this song.
I honestly need to find my motivation again, and I believe that after praying about it, I’m definitely seeing a couple doors opening for that. Aside from finding my motivation, I have just feeling so blah lately. Rommel seems to be the only person who raises my spirits and makes me feel better. That’s one of the many reasons why I love him so much. (: He makes me so happy, I swear. Greatest boyfriend ever.
Anyway. Things just haven’t been great for the past couple of days. I’m so stressed about school, and I don’t even have a full schedule this semester -_- Part of that is my lack of motivation, I know that for a FACT. I also just feel so lost. & I know exactly why, too. I have been so distant from God. I’ve been putting myself first, I’ve been too selfish about things, and I don’t pray or worship Him as often as I should. That has to change now. I can’t even remember when the last time I went to church was. But why? I have been so busy making up excuses for myself, and in all honesty, I’m running out of excuses to use. God knows exactly why I haven’t been going to church, and it’s really not a good reason at all. I just don’t wake up. Yup. That’s my pathetic excuse. Pathetic.
I promise myself from this day forth, I’m going to change my ways. I’m going to become better. I’m putting God first. He should ALWAYS be & remain my #1 priority, and for a good point in my life, that’s exactly how I lived my life. I must say, those were some pretty good days of my life and there’s no reason for me not to be able to have those same kind of days now. I just need to put all my faith & trust in the Lord, and He will continue to bless me and the people I love most. He deserves my all, and I know for a fact I haven’t been giving Him that. But don’t get me wrong… I love Him with all my heart, & He will always be my EVERYTHING.
Starting today, I am going to live for Him all over again. My faith is strong. My head is high up. I’m a walking soldier for Christ, and I’m going to work hard at this to make it a constant way of living. After all, He died for me, so why not live for Him? <3